April 2008
News Suppository
March 2008
News Suppository
- 21: Dungtongue Shatpack # 9 (10)
- 17: OBAMA WELCOMES MICK, ‘CHUCKER SHOWDOWN IN ‘08 GENERAL (9)
- 15: CLINTONS INVITE PROBE (3)
- 13: Sting Announces He’s Retiring (5)
- 03: MCCAIN HINTS AT POSSIBLE INCURSION INTO GERMANY, HAWAII (10)
- 01: CHILD ADVOCACY GROUPS IN UPROAR OVER PLAYTEX COMPANY’S “FRIGHTENINGLY INAPPROPRIATE” INFANT GEAR (9)
February 2008
News Suppository
- 27: Hakuna Obama (1)
- 24: CLINTONS SWAP SUPERDELEGATES FOR SUPERFREAKS (8)
- 23: HOCKEY NIGHT IN CLAUDIA (6)
- 20: SPURNED LOVER SERBIA ABDUCTS AND FLEES WITH KOSOVO (4)
- 14: Amy Winehouse Pulls Down Gabby Award From ADA (6)
- 11: WHERE’S WOJO? (5)
January 2008
News Suppository
- 18: Cult of Personality (3)
December 2007
News Suppository
November 2007
Historyectomy
- 11: Military History Archive #33 (2)
News Suppository
- 20: Zam Halen! Internationally Acclaimed Pan Flutist Zamfir Replaces Diamond Dave On Latest Van Halen Tour (6)
- 04: Dungtongue Shatpack # 20 (5)
October 2007
News Suppository
- 15: Dungtongue Shatpack # 14 (6)
August 2007
News Suppository
- 18: Van Halen Announces New Tour. Eddie’s Son Werewolfgang To Play Bass. (6)
- 01: Michael Vick Honored at White House (6)
July 2007
News Suppository
- 23: Dungtongue Shatpack # 13 (6)
- 17: COSA NOSTRADAMUS: ASTROLOGER, BOOKMAKER (9)
June 2007
News Suppository
May 2007
Historyectomy
- 29: Military History Archive # 28 (8)
News Suppository
- 15: Top al-Qaeda Leader Killed in Iraq (16)
- 05: From the Dungtongue Archives: Bonds’ Horse Odds On Favorite To Win Derby (4)
- 03: Former Star Decides To Remain That Way (3)
April 2007
News Suppository
- 25: Department of Labor Study Tracks Body Piercings and Unemployment Rate (9)
- 23: Ric Ocasek Wins Ugliest Washed-Up Rockstar Contest: Increases Streak to 18 (14)
- 12: FAMED AUTHOR KURT VONNEGUT DIES IN IRONIC TWIST OF FATE (13)
- 10: Rutgers New Promotional Material Draws Fire (9)
March 2007
Historyectomy
- 01: Military History Archive # 38 (6)
News Suppository
- 29: TANYA HARDING TO PLEAD THE 5TH IF CALLED BEFORE THE SENATE TO TESTIFY ABOUT THE U.S. ATTORNEY SCANDAL (16)
- 27: BILLY PACKER COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET DURING PLAY-BY-PLAY OF MARCH MADNESS (9)
- 25: FROM CARDINAL TO JAILBIRD, LARUSSA ARRESTED FOR IDLING UNDER THE INFLUENCE (5)
- 22: Class Action Lawsuit Filed Against Paint Company (10)
- 17: Pillsbury Selects New Doughboy for Rye Bread Product Line (6)
February 2007
News Suppository
- 25: Dungtongue Shatpack # 12 (9)
- 21: Bush Makes an Introduction (7)
- 16: Conwood Corporation Introduces Kodiak THC (207)
- 13: PATERNITY CHALLENGE FOR ANNA NICOLE SMITH’S BABY HEATS UP: “THE CHILD IS MINE!” CLAIMS FAMED PHYSICIST (34)
- 10: Dungtongue Shatpack # 11 (9)
- 08: Stan Ridgway: Singer turned Author (10)
- 01: STOP BY AND VISIT ME AT THE MILE MARKER 34 REST AREA (16)
January 2007
News Suppository
- 29: Bush Inks Deal With Devil (8)
- 26: John Cougar Mellencamp Arrested Outside Tastee Freeze (5)
- 16: A New Chuck Norris Film (11)
- 14: Bush Addressing Social Security (4)
- 09: MUSIC REVIEW: JIMI HENDRIX TRIBUTE ALBUM RELEASED (14)
- 04: Dungtongue Shatpack # 16 (8)
- 02: Who’s Buried in Brown’s Tomb? (8)
December 2006
Historyectomy
- 03: Military History Archive # 43 (3)
News Suppository
- 29: And We Thought He Was Completely Oblivious (2)
- 26: anon reveals himself…oh the horror (6)
- 23: DUNGTONGUE SHATPACK #33 (6)
- 21: AstraZeneca Targets Cross-Town Culture War With Launch Of Neighborhood-Specific Heartburn Medicines (8)
- 19: Sasquatch Called in to Aid in Search For Missing Climbers (14)
- 15: Bush Open to Change (22)
- 09: Sharpton and Jackson Decline Meeting With Michael Richards (15)
- 07: RALPH LAUREN RECALLS COLOGNE: MAY CAUSE ITCHING, PREMATURE EXPIRATION (21)
- 06: Dungtongue Shatpack # 19 (7)
- 04: BASTARD GREAT-GRANDSON OF MACARTHUR DEFIANT IN THE WAKE OF LATEST PHILLIPPINO TYPHOON (34)
- 01: Whew! - It Smells Like Something Died In Here (13)
November 2006
Historyectomy
- 26: THIS DAY IN HISTORY (4)
- 15: THIS DAY IN HISTORY (9)
- 06: Military History Archive # 34 (5)
News Suppository
- 30: George Bush Writes a Book He’ll Discuss on Fox TV (11)
- 28: PRODUCT REVIEW: OCT-TUNG RAZOR FROM BIC (25)
- 26: Busholini non e’ Impressionato Facilmente (5)
- 20: Dungtongue Shatpack # 25 (10)
- 17: Bo Inspires Team One Last Time (6)
- 14: Bush Makes a Quick Phone Call (4)
- 10: BRITNEY REPLACES K-FED WITH D-FELD (12)
- 08: EXITED POLES INDICATE DEMOCRATIC VICTORY IN MIDTERM ELECTIONS (4)
- 07: ELECTION DAY IMAGE: ASIAN PROSTITUTES PRIMED FOR BUSY “NIGHT OF THE BIG ERECTION” (7)
- 02: Michael Jackson to Play Himself in New Movie (10)
October 2006
Historyectomy
- 02: Military History Archive # 61 (6)
Listless
News Suppository
- 23: North Korean Scientists Finally Succeed in Creating an Explosion That Matches Haircut: Citizens Celebrate (8)
- 19: Brad Pitt Split From Angelina Jolie Detailed (11)
- 16: Dungtongue Shatpack # 27 (4)
- 12: RED SOX’ LATEST MOVES MEANT TO KEEP UP WITH YANKS; TEAM SENDS 3 PLAYERS DOWN TO THEIR FIERY DEATHS (4)
- 11: Dungtongue Shatpack # 22 (4)
- 05: Rep. Mark Foley In A Touchy Situation; Claims Media Perverting The Truth; Denies Reports That His Real Name Is Chester; Spotted Lunching With Roman Polanski (25)
- 04: ACE FREHLEY: HELLUVA GUITARIST; DAMN FINE PILOT; PATRIOT! (3)
September 2006
News Suppository
- 28: Fire Disrupts Pan-American Conference in Mexico City (2)
- 27: Dungtongue Shatpack # 17 (7)
- 14: Smith and Wesson Announces Major Recall (9)
- 12: Il Lof di Presidente il Mondo Occidentale (11)
- 09: KU KLUX KLAM RALLY CANCELLED; ORGANIZATION ONLY SHELL OF FORMER SELF (6)
August 2006
Historyectomy
- 14: Military History Archive # 27 (9)
News Suppository
- 30: Dungtongue Shatpack # 15 (8)
- 28: JOHN MARK KARR CONFESSES KNOWLEDGE OF PAST MYSTERIES (11)
- 25: DISNEY FOLLOWS TREND AND AXES PLUTO FROM CAST OF CHARACTERS (4)
- 24: Dungtongue Shatpack # 51 (9)
- 07: BALDERSHAT ADDITIONS (6)
- 03: Mel Gibson Atones and Then Some (9)
July 2006
Historyectomy
- 31: THIS DAY IN HISTORY (3)
- 16: Military History Archive # 107 (2)
- 06: Military History Archive #22 (2)
Listless
News Suppository
- 30: FLOYD LANDIS BUSTED FOR RUNNING METH LAB ON TEAM BUS (1)
- 28: Presidential Hide and Seek (3)
- 26: Please Sign My Petition: I’m NOT Gay, I swear dude! (10)
- 20: Turtle Wax Announces Major Product Change (8)
- 18: DEAR LEADER REPLACES DEAR ABBY; KIM JONG-IL DEBUTS ADVICE COLUMN (6)
- 11: SYD BARRETT DEAD - PIPER AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN OR HELL? (6)
- 10: Sign Here and Here and Down Here (3)
- 07: Kim Jong II to Star in Rush Hour 3 (3)
- 03: DISCOVERY SHUTTLE MISSION MAY FACE DELAY AFTER CRACK FOUND ON FOAM INSULATION; MARION BARRY JOINS SHUTTLE CREW UPON HEARING NEWS (4)
- 02: Snoop Advances to Wimbledon Quarter Finals (6)
Poet Tree
- 22: HIGH COUP: Sweatpants (3)
June 2006
Historyectomy
- 17: Military History Archive #77 (3)
- 12: Military History Archive # 112 (1)
- 04: Military History Archive # 29 (2)
- 01: THIS DAY IN HISTORY (2)
News Suppository
- 29: Rockets (1)
- 27: Free Buffet (2)
- 23: Myspace Announces Format Change (4)
- 21: New Men’s Magazine Launches this Month (5)
- 19: Home & Garden: Soldier’s Edition (3)
- 15: All Warm and Fuzzy Inside (2083)
- 13: MAY I PLEASE SHARE MY LIFE DECISIONS WITH YOU? (4)
- 09: Fred Van Grissle Update: No More Porking for this Potbelly (6)
- 09: Lance Armstrong Cleared Of Doping (3)
- 08: Cover Boy (2)
- 07: Pork Belly Futures Surge (7)
- 06: STARSKY AND HUTCH PLAN COMEBACK AS HALL AND OATES (4)
- 02: Hurricane Season Hits Michigan’s West Coast (6)
May 2006
Historyectomy
- 26: Military History Archive #54 (3)
- 19: Military History Archive # 143 (4)
Listless
News Suppository
- 31: Famous Album Cover Faces Finally Revealed! (1)
- 29: Bradjolina Baby Left to Relatives (3)
- 28: Anti-Immigration Candidate to Run in 2008 (2)
- 25: Gordy Must Be Elected (4)
- 25: AMERICAN IDOL WINNER, TAYLOR HICKS, MAKES APPEARANCE OUT OF MAKE-UP; SHOCKS FANS (2)
- 23: Private Eye Investigates Mystery Down Under (8)
- 23: Tom Cruise Trades in Ultrasound for X-ray Machine (3)
- 20: BARBARO SNAPS LEG AT PREAKNESS; INKS DEAL WITH GLUE COMPANY (25)
- 17: Malfunction at Iranian Nuclear Power Plant (5)
- 15: GRIZZLY ADAMS PREDICTS BEAR MARKET (35)
- 13: Ambassador Rambo Leaves for N. Korea (0)
- 12: DEMOLITIONS COMPANY HIRES PRESIDENT BUSH; COMPANY CEO: “PRESIDENT’S IMPLOSION RECORD UNMATCHED” (1)
- 11: BUSH NOMINATES HAYDEN FOR CIA POST; APPOINTS JOHNNY RAMBO NORTH KOREAN AMBASSADOR (11)
- 06: MTV’s “Cribs” Rocks Spock’s Pad (1)
- 05: A.J Hawk: Happy to be a Packer (3)
- 04: Bonds’ Horse Odds on Favorite to Win Derby (3)
- 03: Eddie Van Halen Exclusive (4)
- 01: DR. PHIL MCGRAW TO OPEN WELLNESS CAMP IN POLAND (7)
April 2006
Historyectomy
- 30: This Day In History (5)
- 16: Military History Archive # 279 (1)
- 14: THIS DAY IN HISTORY (5)
News Suppository
- 29: Movie Fan Convention: Pump Up The Volume (10)
- 27: McDonald’s Launches New Tasty Trans Fat Product Menu (9)
- 26: The Next Fashion Craze (3)
- 24: What I Did Last Summer (4)
- 22: We Are Pleased To Announce That the Dental Offices of Mr. Grady McChicklet Are Now Open!!!! (9)
- 21: LATEST GENERATION LASER SCOPE DEBUTS (2)
- 20: ARCHEOLOGISTS UNEARTH STONE-AGE MAN (3)
- 19: Port Deal Gets Second Chance (2)
- 17: VATICAN EASTER DECORATION SECRETS REVEALED! (9)
- 13: Congratulations! (1)
- 07: I am Cornholio! I need TP for my Bunghole. Whoa - it’s Todd (3)
- 04: Recycled Peanuts: The African Farmer’s Market Delicacy (4)
- 02: I’ve got Dung on Me Tongue (1)
Poet Tree
March 2006
Historyectomy
- 03: This Day In History (2)
Listless
News Suppository
- 30: Bush Announces Third Monday in March Will Be Official Global Warming Holiday (1)
- 28: FORMER GENERAL DETAILS THE LEAD UP TO WAR, TENACITY OF BREAK DANCERS (4)
- 27: MEDIA DOESN’T REPORT GOOD NEWS IN IRAQ (1)
- 27: GM OFFERS UAW BUYOUT DEAL, UPSETS UCONN FOR SPOT IN FINAL FOUR (0)
- 24: Chinese Automobile Sales Surge in U.S. (4)
- 23: ! AMAZING SAUCEPANS ! (4)
- 13: Where’d I Put My Bong??? (3)
- 10: ACTOR JIMMY SMITS - “I AM KENNEWICK MAN!” VOWS TO OPEN CASINO (5)
- 09: Fresh from Williams Sonoma’s Spring Catalog (5)
- 06: Man Anxious for Heroin Habit to Kick In (5)
- 03: Chart Blanche (1)
- 02: Have Mercy On Me Apollo. My Bad. (0)
Poet Tree
- 08: Ode To Mosa (1)
February 2006
Listless
News Suppository
- 28: Stop the Bleeding (4)
- 23: Christ Returns (8)
- 23: Ohno Doesn’t Melt Ice (1)
- 22: EXTRA! EXTRA! Levin Backs Legislation Facilitating Port Security (1)
- 22: Levin Backs Legislation to Beef-Up U.S. Olympic Hockey Team (0)
- 20: Allah’s Atom (4)
- 16: I DIDN’T MEAN TO GO INTO THAT VOLCANO’S CRATER (2)
- 15: Cheney Butt of Jokes, Or Maybe Just An Ass (1)
- 15: PSYCHOLOGICAL SKETCH TEST REVEALS LITTLE OF PRESIDENT’S PSYCHE (0)
- 15: RACER X TAKES GOLD IN OLYMPIC BOBSLED (0)
- 05: Nuclear watchdog reports Iran to U.N. (1)
- 03: “The State of the Union is Strong” (8)
Poet Tree
- 16: BUSH LEAGUE (0)
January 2006
Listless
News Suppository
- 29: Recent Rulings From the U.S. Olympic Committee (6)
- 27: “Mount Olympia!” (1)
- 26: Texas Ranger (5)
- 23: New Orleans Mayor to Seek Treatment for Addiction (8)
- 19: Nagin’s Noggin (5)
- 12: A Donahue among the Oprahs: An Aging Tale (4)
- 11: BOOK OF THE MONTH EXCERPT (3)
December 2005
Historyectomy
- 14: THIS DAY IN HISTORY (0)
Listless
News Suppository
- 13: Joanie Loves Soothing Oolong (2)
- 09: fatwah to me (3)
- 08: Ideas to Facilitate X-mas Merriment (28)
- 07: Will Break My Bones (4)
- 07: Unprovoked Awakening (12)
- 06: Hip, Hip Displacement (1)
- 06: Walt Kurtz Redux (14)
November 2005
News Suppository
- 29: CALLING DOCTOR BOMBAY! (9)
- 29: Hey, Nice Panorama! (1)
- 24: Diary Excerpt (3)
- 23: Who’s Kiddin Who? (0)
- 23: PRETTY BOY FLOYD MAYWEATHER (0)
- 22: Aunt Omology (0)
- 22: Dick Cheney’s Favorite Quotes (3)
- 21: On the Prowl. Tuesdays at 8 / 7 Central (6)
- 15: Big Savings on Hotel Rooms (3)
- 14: Happy Fucking Birthday (5)
- 11: Go Fetch Your Shine Box Intelligent Design And Make Way For The Real Desizzle: RADICAL COSMOS PEDAGOGY (8)
- 10: OXYMORON (0)
- 10: It Should Be A Holiday (4)
- 09: Script Factory (7)
- 09: Von Schlieffen Redux (7)
- 07: MY VOW TO YOU EVELYN (0)
- 04: Oh say can you pine (0)
- 04: Damn those are good spaghettios (1)
- 04: That Bird Flu’s got me all nervous (0)
- 04: I’ll bet… (2)
- 04: Mythology (5)
- 03: Stuck on You (587)
Poet Tree
- 30: We Lost The War Before it Started (7)
- 28: Response to Sweet Potatoes on the Ceiling (0)
- 28: Sweet Potatoes on the Ceiling (3)
- 11: Larvae Hatch (1)
October 2005
Listless
- 25: Top Ten People to Avoid when the Avian Flu comes Callin’ (5)
- 25: Top Ten Athletic Names of All Time (0)
- 25: Top 12 - Porn ‘Classics’ (0)
- 25: Rejected Breakfast Cereals (7)
- 24: Top Ten Failed Restaurant Names (1)
News Suppository
- 31: SOURCE SPOT NEWS (2)
- 29: Ashton Kutcher Punked by State Pen. Cons (10)
- 28: Worst Baby Names (Top 10) (1)
- 26: Feeding Frenzy (0)
- 25: MEAT DREAMIN’ (1)
- 25: EMPLOYMENT AVAILABLE — ATTORNEY (1)
- 25: Top Ten People to Avoid when the Avian Flu comes Callin’ (5)
- 25: Under Water Archeologists Discover Viking Barge (4)
- 25: Tropical Storm Wilma Forms (0)
- 25: Love Belch (0)
- 25: Top Ten Athletic Names of All Time (0)
- 25: Top 12 - Porn ‘Classics’ (0)
- 25: Throbbing Cock Questioned after Playboy Mansion Break-in (2)
- 25: Unsolicited (0)
- 25: SPACE FOR RENT–REASONABLE RATES (0)
- 25: Ms. Kay Neinz writes… (0)
- 25: Snap-On Incorporate Expands Product Line (0)
- 25: perdón mi buen amigo de los sideburns (0)
- 25: Nut-cracking Gorilla Surprises Scientists (0)
- 25: My name’s Elee. Bob Elee (0)
- 25: Rejected Breakfast Cereals (7)
- 24: Man Finds Finger in Chili (0)
- 24: Command Decision (0)
- 24: Larry Hovis Disappears from Retirement Home (3)
- 24: IVAN BLUES (1)
- 24: I’m starting a gang (0)
- 24: I’m new to SCUBA diving, but I love Van Halen. (1)
- 24: I know the secret location of Hidden Valley Ranch. (1)
- 24: HARRIET RUNS AN ERRAND (0)
- 24: El símbolo mejicano querido dañado (0)
- 24: Bush Nominates Meirs (0)
- 24: Doing the 7th Inning Stretch at 7 a.m. (0)
- 24: Fatherly Actor Acquires Additional Personality (0)
- 24: Catch and Release Not a Keeper (0)
- 24: BUSH NOMINATES IMAGINARY FRIEND TO HEAD VETERANS’ AFFAIRS (0)
- 24: At Least He Could Kiss Us! (4)
- 24: Afternoon Carnival in the Summertime (0)
- 24: Abe (0)
- 24: Future King’s Ire Spreads (1)
- 24: Top Ten Failed Restaurant Names (1)
- 24: SUPPORT OUR TROOPS OR I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU (12)
- 24: South Sea Paradise (0)
Poet Tree
- 25: Toilet O’ Corn (1)
- 25: perdón mi buen amigo de los sideburns (0)
- 24: IVAN BLUES (1)
- 24: Afternoon Carnival in the Summertime (0)
