Tue 15 May 2007
Press Wire Services
Baghdad, Iraq - Sanjaya Malakar was the face of al-Qaeda in Iraq, appearing in countless videos depicting beheadings, car bombings and assassinations. He had taunted U.S. forces in Anbar Province, Iraq for the last four years.
On Monday, he appeared on video again, lying motionless on a stainless steel table in a makeshift mortuary inside the U.S. secured green zone in central Baghdad. Malakar, al-Qaeda’s top commander in northwest Iraq, was killed Sunday night after U.S. troops and Iraqi forces tracked him to a safe house outside the town of Fallujah.
Malakar, a top seven finalist on the popular show American Idol, was thought to be the main al-Qaeda middleman controlling foreign money used for militants in Iraq. Recently, he was believed to have had a rocky relationship with top al-Qaeda leaders, including Osama Bin-Laden, who felt his weekly flights to the U.S. to compete on American Idol were hurting the insurgency in Iraq. In one of his last videos, Malakar promised to step up his attacks on Iraqi and coalition forces.
His death was applauded by U.S. commanders and Iraqi leaders as a critical victory against al-Qaeda and the insurgent movement in Iraq. Critics of the show American Idol were also pleased with Malakar’s untimely demise and vowed to continue their boycott of the television show which appears on Fox TV Tuesday and Wednesday nights.
May 16th, 2007 at 7:42 am
Intel suggests he could smuggle I.E.D.s inside a variety of goofy hair-dos. He also took pleasure in keeping many of the Sunni neighborhoods up all night with his off-key singing style.
May 16th, 2007 at 10:16 am
heh.
May 16th, 2007 at 11:30 am
He’s dead but his singing lives on.
May 16th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Right after I read this, I took a shit that was the spittin image of Sanjaya, hair and all.
May 17th, 2007 at 7:29 am
Holy power of suggestion! Next I’m posting a story about a million dollars. Call me when you’re ready to take your next dump.
May 18th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
I ate a roasted pig and a vat of saurkraut last night. Washed it down with a case of red wine. Something brewing in my belly as I type. I have a feeling I’ll lay a shitpipe longer than a telephone pole in the next 60 minutes.
May 18th, 2007 at 9:09 pm
yuck
May 19th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
I need a plumber and backhoe over here.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:34 pm
Yo Dre’ you dead. Right?
May 22nd, 2007 at 6:44 pm
Naw, although I was burned by acid
May 22nd, 2007 at 9:52 pm
Ten hut!
May 25th, 2007 at 12:25 am
Is that Elian Gonzales?
We’re gonna need to take you in for questioning.
May 27th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Eliot Gould? What was that about Eliot Gould?
May 28th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
Gouda?
I’m just crackers about cheese!
June 2nd, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Maybe althouse will stop yak`n(yeah, yak`n) about this “shit” now
June 30th, 2007 at 12:50 am
he’s got a great as… err voice.